Ah, language. I remember a while back, being a passenger in a car with a friend of mine. We were at a fast food drive though because he had a coupon. So he placed our order and told the attendant on the other side of the speaker he had a coupon. The attendant asked him “How many people are in the car?”
My friend replied , “All of us!”
I say this because when you are opening up an incident ticket, it may ask you how many people this incident is affecting. Even if you have multiple personalities, if you are the only one affected, then you are the only one affected. Saying that this is affecting the whole company when obviously it is not is more likely to get a hearty laugh from the person who gets your incident (along with a few other people on the desk). This is basically known on the desk as lying about your situation in order to have someone look at it “right now!”
Protip: This never, ever works.
You see, yes, we jump on emergencies with both feet. We’re the high tech firemen and women, trying to make sure that real four alarm fires are taken care of quickly. We want to help everyone, but we have to set priorities. Sometimes we can get to you immediately. Sometimes, we can’t. But we will, as soon as we can.
Do it enough times, and your name will become well known as someone who is trying to game the system. Yes, we talk about people like you in between putting out fires. When we see that the incident is not the level of everyone in the country catching Ebola at the same time, we set the ticket to reality. if you really are adamant about doing this continuously, we’ll have a conversation with your boss about it.
Not to sound dramatic, but an Incident is kind of like a crime scene. In order to piece everything together the person on the help desk needs to know exactly what happened. Everything. Yes I know, what you need doesn’t work, but I need to reassemble the crime scene in order to see what happened.
That is why putting everything on your ticket is helpful. This is not a blame game, but an investigation. Sometimes, (actually, more than you think) one software program is at odds with another, and yes, this can happen when the software packages are created by the same company (I’m looking at you, Microsoft). Sometimes it is user error. Hey, we all make mistakes. And sometimes what is happening can actually be a symptom of something far worse. But unless the incident team knows what is going on, the incident is nothing more than ” Damned if I know.”
So, what needs to be on the ticket? First, besides your name and how to contact you (which should be automatically recorded on the ticket), I need to know the following:
The time it happened. This helps us if we need to check server logs. Things happen all the time, so knowing when it happened helps us dig through the chaff.
Exactly what happened. The more detailed you can be, the better. Just saying “It doesn’t work” means we have to call in Miss Cleo and her tarot cards to divine what happened. And while I love her fake Jamaican accent, she’s never right.
What else was running in the background. Excel is giving me an error message and I have Word and Visio also running. This may have something to do with it, it may not. But we know that there are other avenues we might be able to check if our first assumption is wrong.
Screenshots. Just like a crime scene investigation, pictures record a lot more than people think. If you have an error message, get a screen shot to add to the ticket.
If your ticketing system does not capture the information concerning the computer you are on (Some do, some are stupid), then please add that to the ticket as well. There are times when the hardware does not play nice with the software.
In other words, nothing gets ruled out at the start. Once we can verify the alibis for various parts, then we can find the perp, solve the problem and wrap up the case a lot neater the Law and Order sometimes does. If we find that what you are experiencing is part of a larger problem, well, we have a larger case to solve. We’ll keep you updated. Olivia Benson never gives up. Neither do we. *Chu-CHUNK!*