Not So Fast, Folks

I have found with a mixture of amusement and annoyance this thought that has permeated the blogosphere over the last year or so concerning the iPad.  Simply put, the meme that the game is over before it has even begun.  Apple won.  Everyone else is doomed.  Doomed, I tell you. 

To those people, may I present a little reality into the Jobsian distortion-field.  You see, while tablets are now white hot, while the iPad is the fastest growing electronic gadget evah, when you combine the number of users of tablet with smartphones, (you know, your iPhone, Android and the like) it comes out to only 0.3% of the Earth’s inhabitants as of the end of 2010.  That represents about 394 million users total.  That number, while quite large falls behind the following:

• Newspaper subscriptions (530 Million)
• TV subscriptions (600 million) 
• Landline telephones (1 billion)
• Total PCs (1.3 billion)
• Mobile subscribers (5.1 billion)

Now I’m not saying the market is not growing; in fact it will continue to grow at a pretty heady pace.  If it wasn’t growing, there wouldn’t be any interest and the iPad would be another “hobby” like Apple TV.  But it is rather ridiculous to call the game before the teams are even introduced.  There are plenty of players and plenty of time and room to disrupt the market.  Because, to quote Exene Czervenka, “this is the game that moves as you play it”.  And there are a lot of groups out there that can play.

The Ghosts of CES Past

CNET.com has a nice little story that revisits the Consumer Electronics Show of 2010 and looks at all those wonderful things they gushed about-and where those things are one year later.  What it basically shows is that some of the items were right on the money, others passed by for other technologies and some were vaporware. 

The examples of items on the money included the diminutive but awesomely powered Dell Alienware M11X, a gaming laptop, and Tenrehte Technologies’ Picowatt Wi-Fi Smart plugs, an item that cannot be found by regular folks because businesses are picking them up before they can hit the market.  The My Ford Touch interface which is in just about every Ford made now is also one of the winners, not because Ford is putting in vehicles, but because it actually works and works well.

In the grey area, sits the Motorola backflip, AT&T’s android phone. As most phones, this was quickly eclipsed by all the other phones released.  Not being all that great didn’t help.  Intel’s Wireless Display also sits here, simply because of poor execution. 

Then finally, onto the land of misfit toys.  Cell TV was vaporware from the start, as was Lenovo’s IdeaPad U1 Hybrid.

There were a couple that CNET were positive about that did not take off as thought.  Smartbooks, which were netbooks with non-Windows operating systems, cellular data contracts and cloud-based applications were overshadowed by Apple’s iPad and Android/Chrome.  The idea is still valid, but it needs to be executed better.  Ditto with Intel’s Wireless Display. 

As CES opens, it will be interseting what will grab people’s imaginations out there and which, over time, will prove to be ideas best forgotten.

It’s A Festivus Miracle!

Today is Festivus. In accordance with tradition, I submit my 2010 Airing of Grievances. The following have disappointed me over the past year, in no particular order:

• Carol Bartz for still not figuring out what Yahoo is, $@#$#%#^^$%!!!!!!!!!!!. Of course no one else has either, but really, she is the head Hooligan, so she should have some idea.
• Steve Jobs for not allowing Chris Chang’s company to make a really cool action figure of him. Yeah I know, someone would put a mini Darth Vader helmet on it and then make a viral video which would piss him off to no end. But really, Steve, I promise I wouldn’t skewer you too much.
• Ray Ozzie for not gathering the Microsoft developers French revolution style and storming Ballmer’s office for cancelling Courier. Of course I get the fact that Ray didn’t want his breast exposed as in the painting. But still, it would have been awesome.
• Every single TV maker in the world. 3-D. Really? After all these years and the only thing you can offer as an advancement in 3-d technology is polarized glasses? Really?
• Google. Before rolling out Google TV, don’t you think it would have been a really keen idea to get the networks to buy into it?
• Apple. Ping. The less said, the better.
• Airlines that think that voice recognition is really cool. It isn’t. It’s annoying. I have to say the same thing five times before the system recognizes it, or else do my impression of Lillith from Frasier.
• The TSA. Come on guys, I’ve been looking for a real good grope, and nothing. Am I that undesirable? I feel cheated.
• People on Facebook who immediately are up in arms when a change is made to the system. There’s a life out there. Go get one.
• By that same token, Facebook. You know if you set everyone’s privacy to the highest and let them decide to open themselves up, you wouldn’t have so many people out there screaming. Just a thought.
• Apple again for pretending to be East Germany over losing an iPhone, complete with Stasi-like raids in the middle of the night.
• Steve Jobs again, this time for telling left handed people that the iPhone is perfect and they are not.
• Viacom, for still continuing with a lawsuit that has been thrown out of court once.
• Microsoft for allowing Kin to see the light of day.
• Telecom companies that have made a standard like 4G a marketing tool. When you do things like that, then we know you aren’t telling the truth about anything, OK?
• And finally, to politicians who decry Net Neutrality really loud. Please to note that those who cry the loudest are the ones who have received huge amounts of money from the telecom companies. I still think that our legislators need to wear NASCAR jumpsuits with patches of the companies and groups who have sponsor them. Now that would be transparency I could get behind.

Mad Men, 2010

4G: As defined by the International Telecommunication Union, 4G service must deliver peak download speeds of approximately 100Mbps in high-mobility environments (cell phones) and peak download speeds of approximately 1Gbps in low-mobility environments.

And, as Boy Genius Report eloquently points out, when you talk about telecommunications in the US, there is not a carrier that has 4G service.

NOT ONE.  NADA.  ZILCH.  FUGGEDABOUTIT. 

That, of course won’t stop the members of the telecommunications industry from telling you otherwise.  Sprint has been telling you that for the last six to nine months, AT&T will cheerfully lie to you as well.  And T-Mobile just climbed aboard the bandwagon telling the world that they now have the largest 4G network.  Expect Verizon to pile on later this year.

Why?  Because, according to Tommy Lee Jones, “A person is smart.  People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals.”  And they buy the line, provided it is said often and with authority.   The fact is, all T-Mobile has is  a slightly faster service than what they had before.  But people don’t get that.  They get 4G as opposed to 3G.  4 is more, therefore it is “better, stronger, faster”.  And while T-Mobile’s upgraded data network, which is being rolled out across the country, isn’t technically 4G, its theoretical peak of 21 Mbps and average speeds of 5 Mbps probably make it the fastest data service available.  But it still isn’t 4G, no matter what T-Mobile wants to peddle.

From the BGR:

What’s funny is that when T-Mobile finally does launch an LTE network, it could potentially use the same logic carriers use now and call it a 5G network. Yes, it would use the same technology as AT&T and Verizon Wireless’ 4G networks, but it would be 5G. This scenario sounds ridiculous — but it’s actually happening right now. AT&T has an HSPA+ network just like T-Mobile, but AT&T calls it 3G while T-Mobile calls it 4G.

The thing about marketing is that it has always played fast and loose with the rules.  From four of five doctors recommending filtered cigarettes to Four of Five G’s recommending HSPA+ for speed, it’s never about truth.  It’s about what you can get away with.  Look around.  These days, you can get away with quite a lot. 

WordPress Tags: telecomunnications corporations, Lies, Marketing, 4G

Now Playing: U2 – Zooropa – Zooropa

You See a Painted Sign On The Side of the Road…

Oh Radio Shack, ye of Tandy Corporation, jewel of Fort Worth, Texas, bringer of the legendary TRS-80…

What the hell are you doing?

According to a story on Engadget.com, someone with a marketing degree has decided that the word Radio just isn’t modern, hip or cutting edge enough and so the rebranding of the store chain has begun.  Henceforth, the name shall be known as “The Shack”.

OK, the idea of "The Shack" is that it’s friendly, helpful, and with the latest electronics and solutions.  Sounds more like they named it in honor of Ted Kaczynski’s legendary rural home and his unwavering love of technology.  If you’ve ever been in a Radio Shack over the last ten years and actually tried to find someone who worked there with a barely passing semblance of knowledge concerning anything electronic, you know what I mean.  Friendly?  I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say, “sure, why not?”  But helpful?  Knowledgeable?  Solutions?  Please. 

This is not the most brilliant of marketing moves.  After all, we all ready have “The Hut”, which has nothing to do with Jabba, the Hut (well, unless you’re used to downing three or four pizzas in one sitting).  And we have “Hack a Shaq” which is probably one of the worst basketball defenses there is.  And then there’s Joe’s Crab Shack, which is not a that bad a chain restaurant to eat at.  You see where I’m going here?  Fact is, all they are doing is trying to make a dowager of a company sound like a hip place to be.  This has the word “Failure” written all across that brand new logo.

Maybe they should take a cue from Prince and just have a little symbol.  Then everyone can call it "The Store Formerly Know As Radio Shack"

Now Playing: The B-52′s – Cosmic Thing – Love Shack